Red Flags for Daddies

Perceptions from a Daddy Dom

Perceptions from a Daddy Dom are essays, instruction pieces, and sometimes rants. I write and even text, like I talk in real life and I speak from the heart. I offer my opinions and insights that I have gained from fifteen years of experience and through trial and error. If I offer insight, it is from the mindset of my Dominant philosophy, which is primarily that of Daddy Dom. I use the pronouns I am comfortable with, but please swap your pronouns where you feel comfortable. The lifestyle welcomes all of you. Welcome to Wonderland.


All too often articles like this are written for the submissive. This one is written for the Doms. What is a red flag? Red flags are warning signs that should immediately cause you to raise an eyebrow. They’re warning signs that should make you immediately question your prospective submissive and seek clarification. If they continue to skirt the issue or not address your question, tell them it’s a red flag issue for you. One of two things will happen: she will either answer your questions or ignore them. That said, what’s a red flag to one person can be someone else’s perfectly normal, use your own discretion. Here are a few red flags that would make me question a prospective sub (the following list has been compiled from multiple sources):

  • Does she beg to be dominated?
  • Does she constantly move or shift her boundaries? 
  • Does she say she has zero hard limits?
  • Did she ignore anything in what you said you’re looking for?
  • Can she not differentiate bratting from being a brat?
  • Does she pressure you to play before you’re ready?
  • Is she impatient in the vetting process?
  • Does she refuse to have conversations about her kinks?
  • Is she disrespectful?
  • Does she demand expensive gifts?
  • Does she get overly emotional when she doesn’t get her way?
  • Does she demand all of your time, not allowing you to spend time with friends or family?
  • Does she demand your attention even when you are too tired or sick?
  • Does she constantly demand gifts?
  • Does she frequently compare you to previous relationships?
  • Has she ever made you feel guilty about questioning something she said?
  • Have you ever caught her in a lie?
  • Has she ever used tears to influence your decisions?
  • Have you ever felt like she was hiding something important?
  • Have you ever dreaded talking to her because you felt like it would bring up an argument?
  • Has she ever threatened self harm to get her way?
  • Has she ever refused to speak about her past?
  • Does she avoid giving prompt and thorough answers?
  • Does she get upset if she’s not the center of attention?
  • Has she ever begged or tried to coherence you into doing something you’re not comfortable doing?
  • Has she ever asked you to cross your own personal boundaries?
  • Does she beg you to be her Dominant before you were ready?
  • Is she emotionally manipulative?
  • Does she lack responsibility?
  • Does she only talk to you when she’s horny?
  • Can she not maturely negotiate kinks?
  • Is she too agreeable or quick to commit?
  • Is she unwilling to research kinks and safety?

There’s always at least one that will comment on here too, well I do this and it’s not a red flag. Congratulations, your combative behavior? Red flag. While every dynamic and relationship is different, the above red flags are a great jumping off point for the new Dominant.

One thought on “Red Flags for Daddies

  1. Pingback: Vetting for Daddy Doms | The Wolf in the Night Sky

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