30 Days of Dominance: Day 3

Thoughts on Dominance and Myself

Today’s discussion questions: How do you know you are a Dominant or have the potential to be Dominant? How do you feel when you express your Dominance?

I know I’m Dominant because I express dominance through my personal life, both privately and publicly, and the bedroom. I do not suffer fools lightly. I am assertive. I am a leader, even when it’s not necessarily something I want to lead. I see that something needs to be done and I do it. Even in the workplace, I have repeatedly been asked  to examine how a workflow is completed and refine processes and implement new procedures. This all comes naturally to me.

For a long time, I felt repressed in who I was. Society has made it almost impossible to be masculine and not be criticized for it. My mother tried to raise my brother and I as Southern gentlemen in an era where those core values were already beginning to fade. I remember being tasked with reading How to Raise a Modern Day Knight and after so long of being raised in this way, a lot of it rubbed off and for some of the damages this raising brought, it would take decades to undo, for not all of it was good. When exploring my sadist side, I was immediately conflicted. It is what I wanted, what I needed, what I truly craved, but the waves of negative emotions was crippling. How could I be a good and wholesome man and want to do all of this to my partner? It took a long time for me to feel comfortable in my own skin and become comfortable with those very real needs. In the end, I was able to consolidate de Sade’s deviant and the Southern gentleman into something entirely new.

How do I feel when I express my Dominance? That’s a loaded question. It is very simply, a euphoric release. First, I want to cover what I feel when she submits, because that is just as important. I feel responsible, honored and worthy. I am a god walking amongst mortals. Primal will and desire made manifest. This woman has surrendered herself to me in the most intimate of ways. She has given me her trust and dedication and as we all know, that is a very fragile thing. One of the few great treasures one human being can give another. Her trust and submission are such beautiful gifts. It’s a pure elation, a heady rush and at the same time it bears the serious weight of responsibility. It is in a word: bliss. When expressing my Dominance, it’s like a clear-headed high. The level of clarity, stillness, sense of satisfaction and the righteousness of what I’m doing is hard to express. In both the bedroom and out, the feelings are the same, but far the more greater when I’ve been empowered through my submissive.

There is a meme that reads: “My relationship with my submissive is like a coloring book: she draws the lines, she decides how she wants the picture to look. Within those lines, I can do anything I want. If I want purple skies and orange grass, that’s my prerogative. But I always, ALWAYS have to respect those lines.”

Be cautious. Make informed decisions. Talk to others. You have an entire community at your fingertips to be your sounding board. Be safe. Explore and have fun. I’ll be seeing y’all tomorrow.

16 thoughts on “30 Days of Dominance: Day 3

  1. Interesting take on the coloring book and can totally see and understand your view. I’ve been seeing the coloring book the other way around. Dad sets the lines for me to color within. Those lines are my guard rails. I get to color however I want and just be me, but I always know that there is this safety net set by Dad. Those lines aren’t there for his benefit but rather for my well-being.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The lines, are negotiated. Yes, as the Dom, I am the one that sets the structure and tone in our relationship, but I would not be able to do it unless she first submitted. With her limits in mind, it she is truly she would draws the picture. At least in my eyes.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Makes sense. Sorry, I am not trying to challenge your view. I am just curious of other Dominants’ mind sets. Besides it’s cool to get different perspectives.

        I sometimes sell myself short and don’t see the potential in me that my Daddy does. If I were to set my own limits (not really talking about play here), I’d be stuck in places I don’t like in life. Daddy sees that and he’d coax me to do better. Sometimes I grumble about him being so unyielding, but in hindsight, he has almost always been right about me and I am in better place because of that. So in my limited experience, I always see him drawing those lines for me.

        Having said all that, he do require me to state my mind all the time. It’s incredibly hard in the beginning. Hard for me to differentiate thoughts from emotions. Think I am better at it now. I still feel most of the time, he understands more of me than I do myself.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, I didn’t take it as argumentative at all. That’s the best part about this lifestyle. What works for one, doesn’t always work for another, but we can all agree on the same fundamentals.

        I’m glad that you have a Daddy that makes you feel so safe and secure. Something I’ve learned over the last several years is that’s it’s rare that the sub sees what the Dom sees. And that’s okay. Maybe one day you’ll see it, maybe you won’t. That won’t change how we feel about our girl. And it’s good he has you speak your mind. A good Dom is many things, a mind-reader isn’t one of them. Lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Totally agree on the last statement. Although at times, I do feel he can read my mind when all he did is paying attention to details. I tend to live in my own bubble and become forgetful at times. So I am always so surprised when he can “speak my mind”. And then I’d be caught off guard when he asked me for feed backs on things he did or interactions we had. So yeah, I consider myself really lucky.

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