30 Days of Dominance: Day 3

Thoughts on Dominance and Myself

Today’s discussion questions: How do you know you are a Dominant or have the potential to be Dominant? How do you feel when you express your Dominance?

I know I’m Dominant because I express dominance through my personal life, both privately and publicly, and the bedroom. I do not suffer fools lightly. I am assertive. I am a leader, even when it’s not necessarily something I want to lead. I see that something needs to be done and I do it. Even in the workplace, I have repeatedly been asked  to examine how a workflow is completed and refine processes and implement new procedures. This all comes naturally to me.

For a long time, I felt repressed in who I was. Society has made it almost impossible to be masculine and not be criticized for it. My mother tried to raise my brother and I as Southern gentlemen in an era where those core values were already beginning to fade. I remember being tasked with reading How to Raise a Modern Day Knight and after so long of being raised in this way, a lot of it rubbed off and for some of the damages this raising brought, it would take decades to undo, for not all of it was good. When exploring my sadist side, I was immediately conflicted. It is what I wanted, what I needed, what I truly craved, but the waves of negative emotions was crippling. How could I be a good and wholesome man and want to do all of this to my partner? It took a long time for me to feel comfortable in my own skin and become comfortable with those very real needs. In the end, I was able to consolidate de Sade’s deviant and the Southern gentleman into something entirely new.

How do I feel when I express my Dominance? That’s a loaded question. It is very simply, a euphoric release. First, I want to cover what I feel when she submits, because that is just as important. I feel responsible, honored and worthy. I am a god walking amongst mortals. Primal will and desire made manifest. This woman has surrendered herself to me in the most intimate of ways. She has given me her trust and dedication and as we all know, that is a very fragile thing. One of the few great treasures one human being can give another. Her trust and submission are such beautiful gifts. It’s a pure elation, a heady rush and at the same time it bears the serious weight of responsibility. It is in a word: bliss. When expressing my Dominance, it’s like a clear-headed high. The level of clarity, stillness, sense of satisfaction and the righteousness of what I’m doing is hard to express. In both the bedroom and out, the feelings are the same, but far the more greater when I’ve been empowered through my submissive.

There is a meme that reads: “My relationship with my submissive is like a coloring book: she draws the lines, she decides how she wants the picture to look. Within those lines, I can do anything I want. If I want purple skies and orange grass, that’s my prerogative. But I always, ALWAYS have to respect those lines.”

Be cautious. Make informed decisions. Talk to others. You have an entire community at your fingertips to be your sounding board. Be safe. Explore and have fun. I’ll be seeing y’all tomorrow.