30 Days of Dominance: Day 8

Thoughts on Punishment, Both Corporal and Mental

Today’s discussion questions: Is spanking or corporal punishment part of your Dominance? Why or why not? How do you feel about spanking and/or corporal punishment as tools used to invoke and maintain submission from your partner/s?

Spanking for me isn’t a punishment, most of the time. Spanking is foreplay. A newer, trendier word calls it a funishment. It’s a word that has grown on me. Hell, littles weren’t even littles when I first emerged in the lifestyle. I love how much the lifestyle evolves and changes to suit our needs. Spanking can vary from daily spankings, something designed to remind my sweet little masochist who’s the Boss, to sensual spankings to something that’s more firm and designed to remind her the next time she sits who loves her most.

As to corporal punishments, there are many I do enjoy. Some I’ve yet to explore, but they’re still there. I’ve always shaped my style of Dominance to match the needs of my submissive. In the days of the Old Guard, we were called service Doms, to which I find the concept to be entirely distasteful. If she needs corporal punishment, she gets corporal punishment. Sometimes as a sadist, I need to release some pent up primal energy. In the aftercare then comes Daddy and the nurturing and loving Dom side.

In regards to invoking submission, once given, her submission is treasured and guarded most jealously. I will use all the tools at my disposal to cultivate and grow the dynamic. Like a gardener, I will tend to her needs and shape our dynamic to match our mutual needs, within the confines of our negotiated hard and soft limits. The punishments given are to reinforce our structure and remind her that she’s important enough to me that I care when she breaks it.

While corporal punishments certainly have their delight, I would sometimes much rather correct the behavior and rule-breaking with the mental game. This ties back to earlier discussions in which I said that I need to know my sub. In knowing her, of how she thinks, her fears, how she expresses herself and how she ticks, I am able to bring out her submission with mental domination. Through verbal expression and just a stern look, one should be able to complete mental submission. This is not to ignore the subs that need corporal punishment. This again ties back to intimately knowing your submissive. To quote C. Holmes, who identifies as submissive, “the person who learns my mind can essentially own it.”

Some great ideas I’ve read and be given for mental punishments are as follows:

If she is acting bratty, she is to be made to suck her thumb. Have your sub sit on her hands and forbid speaking or fidgeting. Have her write lines or essays, a particularly hated punishment amongst many s-types. Even corner time or a forbiddance to serve are all good mental punishments. My ultimate mental punishment I’ve decided to share here as well. This is reserved for a serious infraction. Something that breaks protocol to such a degree, she has greatly upset me or our balance. She is to take a permeant magic marker and write “Daddy” on the bottom of her foot. I will help her if she needs it, but she is to be the one that writes it. I will then have her kneel in front of me. I will explain to her that she is not allowed to wash that foot or wash Daddy off. It has to wear off naturally. I will then explain that what she did not only broke protocol, but it upset me. I will explain why it upset me and why it’s important to maintain our protocol. After the lecture, I will help her stand up and then tell her that will every steps she takes, she is walking on Daddy. She is walking over what she holds most dear and our dynamic. It is a heavy mental punishment. One that I have never had to use, but it is in the toolbox. As always, punishments must match the infraction.

5 thoughts on “30 Days of Dominance: Day 8

  1. Yup. Dad has yet used spanking for punishment. Also before each of my spankings, he’d always make sure that the spanking is not a punishment but rather a reward for being a good girl.

    …that mental punishment you mentioned about walking over Daddy. That’s devastating…just as devastating as when Dad withheld his hugs from me…

    Liked by 2 people

      • That’s why he had me alert him each time I wanted a hug. Instead of a hug he’d either had my hands behind my back asking why I was in that predicament. Or we’d have conversation about why the punishment was the way it was. The whole time I wasn’t left alone and in a way the order I broke was meant to protect me in the first place. So withholding his hugs meant he withdrew his protection for like 23 hours to be exact. And that was enough to drive the message home.

        Liked by 2 people

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