30 Days of Dominance: Day 20

Changes in Dominance, Renegotiations and Kinks

Today’s discussion: Has your Dominance increased or decreased over time? Have you ever had to renegotiate with your submissive due to a change in feelings or circumstance? Have your interests as a Dominant expanded or contracted over time?

As I’ve grown older, my Dominance has increased. As previously discussed, I did suppress myself and let my dynamic drop with my ex-wife. In all honesty, that was probably the third biggest mistake I’ve ever made in a relationship. So in the case of her and I, it also waned. Due to the mental abuse and trauma of her narcissism, as also previously stated, I almost left the lifestyle. There was so much hurt and doubt I didn’t know if I could, let alone would, put myself out there like that again.

I have had to renegotiate. Tastes and interests change over the course of the relationship. As I’ve said repeatedly, the contract is fluid. The rules not set in stone. We may discover over the course of the relationship that what may have been a passing interest became a quick hard limit. It’s not unheard of. Especially if a scene brings deep seated triggers.

I would say that my tastes have grown more varied the longer I’ve been in the lifestyle. It’s hard not to have them expand, especially when you’re reading and researching so much. Participating in online groups pushes this further as well. I’m the type that will google something I’ve never heard of first, and then ask questions after I’ve researched and formed an initial impression.

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