30 Days of Dominance: Day 22

Exude Dominance

Today’s discussion questions: Can you feel Dominant without a submissive partner? If so, how does your Dominance express itself? If not, how do you handle your need to be Dominant?

It gets said a lot, but it doesn’t make it any less true: Dominance is a mentality. You either have it or you don’t. It’s not something I, or anyone else, can teach you. Accordingly, if you can’t be Dominant in your daily life without a submissive partner, I’d wager that you’re either not walking the walk or you’re not embracing your confidence properly. Now, does a partner make you more Dominant? Oh, yes it can. The emotions and feelings released through exercising my Dominance and owning my submissive are intoxicating and borderline addictive. Her submission is one of the most empowering forces I’ve ever encountered in life. Without a submissive, how do you chase that feeling? Be Dom. If you’re broken, fix yourself. Take care of your business. When single, I am constantly striving to better myself. Through both intellectual pursuits, psychological mending and work and physical exercise. Be confident. Be yourself. Be the cool predator you know yourself to be. You’ll find her. Maybe she’ll find you. These things work themselves out.

How does my Dominance express itself? How doesn’t it? I’m charismatic, well, at least here. I am actually quite the introvert, but in my community, I feel like I am able to express my truest self and do so from a position of confidence. I’m a natural leader. I don’t force it, I don’t demand it. In almost every circle I participate in, I wind up being positioned at the top, even when I expressly state I don’t want it. I speak with authority, whether it’s from mindset or opinion, I will always speak to you from the heart and say it with my chest. I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. If I’m unfamiliar with something, I’m not afraid to learn about it. I take charge of my daily life. I don’t suffer fools and I have little patience for willful ignorance. When approaching something new, or confronted with a problem, I examine it from all angles. I stalk it, examine it and get a good feel for it. That way, no matter what happens, I’m prepared for whatever outcome. Does that approach always work? No, of course not. You don’t always get time to analyze life, but you can use your own life experience to take charge of the unfamiliar and bend it to your will.

When not in a relationship, I exercise my mind constantly. I research more into lifestyle topics and bounce ideas of other Doms and really just get out there and explore. I work on networking and expand my circle of like-minded lifestylers and kinksters. Do I have hobbies outside of kink? Oh absolutely. I’m a huge nerd. I love competitive strategy games of all kinds, from tabletop to board games. I’m super big on friends and chosen family. Naturally, few of my friends are dominant in personality. It’s the way of things, leaders attract followers. The few “alpha” friends I do have have been fought with, battled against and found worthy. I actually hated one of my closest friends today because he was almost as Dominant as I was. It took six months for us to reach an understanding and start forming a strong friendship. Eventually, he was lost due to extremist politics, but that’s neither here no there. My memories of him will always be cherished.

Be yourself. Have fun. Learn and explore. Play safe. Play sane. Play consensual.

13 thoughts on “30 Days of Dominance: Day 22

  1. I LOVED reading your thoughts on this topic, Storm. I agree…dominance is not something that can be taught. It comes from within and you either have it, or you don’t. I love what you have to say about focusing on self-betterment.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I feel like it should be common sense, right? Self betterment. I see in the groups though these “Doms” whinging about not having a sub and I’m like slow down chief. I get hurting. I get struggling being alone. Hell, I was wired from birth to be a caregiver. I need to feel needed. Whining about it publicly though is Dominant. Reign it in, king. Focus on yourself. Take a class on something that interests you. Do a thing you’ve been putting off that you’ve always wanted to do. Be good to yourself and she’ll find you. Trust me. These things have a way of working themselves out.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Interesting perspective. Dad always preach upon “honest not nice” and sometimes his honesty do sting a bit, but he spoke the truth and not something fake just to please me or others for that matter.
    I’ve been a bit reserved on suggesting you and Dad may get along well. Feel like Dominant personalities tend to clash. Can’t really have multiple leaders in one group type of thing…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dominant personalities can clash from time to time, but in my experience, we tend to treat each other with respect. Especially when introduced or we encounter each other in a group or at a social activity. The only time I’ve ever clashed with another Dom is when they’re disrespectful to me or mine.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Understood. I don’t really go to local munches. Went to a MAsT meeting in LA years back with Hubby. That was an eye opener meeting I actually enjoyed. I am an introvert and so is Dad. Was surprised to find out that he’d be interested to attend a MAsT meeting with me someday after COVID. I am just curious of what it is like when one Dom meets another.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m an introvert outside of the lifestyle by choice. I don’t care for people as a whole anymore. Most people aren’t worth the effort anymore, in my personal experience. I’ve grown to keep my personal circle smaller by choice. Loyalty and friendship doesn’t seem to mean much these days.

        Usually, when encountering other Doms, in my experience, there’s a base line of respect automatically given. Then, for me, your actions and words adjust the sliding scale of my original assessment and estimation of your character. Arguments, especially in the groups, can get heated. Especially when a Dom feels the need to project a false internet bravado that just isn’t needed. Exuding Dominance doesn’t mean you need to act like you have a chip on your shoulder or mean that you need to come into a conversation half cocked. More often than not, when they do this, they’re showing their ignorance.


      • I’ve been an introvert since I was a little Kid. Grow up watching people. Get to read their body language better than their words. Don’t really like small talks in general. For the few whom I have connections with. I tend to talk their ears off.

        Pardon my stereotype and ignorance, I’ve always imagined that when Dominants get together, they like to flex their muscles and feel each other out to see who is the real boss type of thing. Sorry that I misjudged.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Lol. That goes on too. There’s certainly posturing that can go on. It can very by setting and if anyone knows people going in at local events. In my experience though, lol, no. That’s a funny mental image though.


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