30 Days of Dominance: Day 23

Questioning Your Dominance

Today’s discussion questions: Is there anything about Dominance, either your own or what you see in others, which you question, dislike or are repelled by? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own Dominant needs and desires?

This is kind of touchy isn’t it? In my style and philosophy of Dominance, there are no distastes. I am comfortable with who and what I am. It has taken me a long time to get here and I am confident in myself. As to distastes in other styles of Dominance, I can’t think of anything I find distasteful. Certain dynamics I struggle to understand sometimes, but that’s okay. It’s not my dynamic and when I have questions, I’m not afraid to ask. I’ve brought up my recent infatuation with Gorean Master/slave dynamics. So, in seeking understanding, I’ve talked to Gorean Masters and their slaves. Facebook deleted it, but there used to be an amazing Gorean group I participated in. My first mentor was a Gorean/Daddy.

There was a time I questioned my Dominance. When I first encountered BDSM all those years ago, I was beyond conflicted. I was raised in an old fashioned Southern style and the roles of men and women were clearly defined as were the way we were supposed to interact with each other. My first exposure to the lifestyle was the Master/slave dynamic of the “Story of O”. I was distraught over the very real attraction and how I was raised. It took years to become comfortable with who I am and one very patient painslut. 

In the end, I like so many others, was seduced by the dark romance of the lifestyle. The thrill of the chase, vetting and getting to know one another, the takedown of the hunt. Done correctly and honestly, you will learn more about each other and do so more intimately than any vanilla dating game you have ever played. You will learn how each other thinks and what drives and motivates your potential partner. The negotiation and agreements made all ending in the ultimate goal of obtaining her submission; I find it all to be beyond intoxicating. The seduction, consideration phase, and the fledgling steps of a new relationship are all exciting and thrilling. You begin to fully explore each other as Dom and sub. You begin to establish roots and cultivate a growing relationship. And it’s not over once she has submitted, a whole new journey is about to begin. As her trust grows, boundaries are pushed. New discoveries are made and you are drawn ever closer together.

Almost all of us had to make a strange and wonderful journey to get here. Whether you’re exploring for the first time or stumbled across this wonderful dark world by accident, take time to wander around. It’s okay to be timid and cautious. In fact, I encourage it. Research what fascinates you. Talk to those that have more experience. Keep an open mind and absorb as much as you can.

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