A small rant on lifestyle Facebook groups and Fetlife

Red flags I notice in Facebook lifestyle groups and Fetlife

It is both predatory and alarming as fuck to me when I see other “Doms” only interact within their community on introduction posts or seeking posts. I work from home, so I have a lot of down time and I get to notice things like this. I often wonder if they think they’re being clever or that their behavior is unnoticed. It’s especially telling when we share multiple groups together and I can start seeing that their only activity in multiple groups is over seeking behavior with no other group involvement, be in in actual discussions or even just commenting on a funny meme or quip.

Another red flag I see a lot comes from the sub types. There’s usually two or three in every group, but they’re constantly posting attention seeking posts in the form of “Life is so hard without a Daddy,” “Why can’t I find a Daddy.” “I’m thinking about leaving the group because I can’t find my Dom.” Every once in a while, I could understand. After all, the heart wants what the heart wants. I completely understand that. Few people want to be alone. This is a red flag because it’s a constant thing from these s-types. It’s the same person throwing a pity party with negative attention seeking behavior.

I spent some time scouting around this week as well on Facebook looking for new DDlg groups and it was fucking awful. I got into four or five groups and left all of them. One was so bad, it was actually just a front for OnlyFans content. Most of them allowed almost nothing but seeking posts, which I honestly don’t have a problem with, but keep it contained. If every single post I scroll through is basically a Tinder snapshot, I can already tell I will find little value in your group.

The same kind of bullshit is still happening over on Fetlife. I reactivated my account today and was doing some profile maintenance/cleanup and then started looking into research for one of my upcoming essays and you have to dig so deep through the bullshit there, it’s almost not worth it. Where did all the good groups go? Like it was going downhill when I left the lifestyle five years ago, but now, it’s just a massive cesspit of bad information and dick pics. Silver lining on Fetlife is I finally found a local active community. I’ll be slowly feeling that out. The last time I went to a local event, I was living in California and left unimpressed.

4 thoughts on “A small rant on lifestyle Facebook groups and Fetlife

  1. I think it is so important that someone says this. A lot of people are interested in this lifestyle, but I think a lot of them don’t understand what it actually means for the people who view it as a coping mechanism, a commitment, or a way of life. I think a lot of people are only interested in the kink side of D/s lifestyles, which makes it really hard for those of us who are very committed to the roles of the lifestyle…

    Liked by 2 people

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