30 Days of Dominance: Day 29

Pain and Humiliation

Today’s discussion questions: Is pain or humiliation part of your Dominant expression? What is your relationship to pain and humiliation? Do you embrace it as part of your Dominance, inflict it reluctantly or have some other type of relationship with it?

The warm, slow burn of a welt rising. The aching, cool reminder of a bruise from a previous play session. Pain. It triggers so much for so many different people. A common misconception is that being in this lifestyle you have to like inflicting or receiving pain. Newsflash: You don’t. There are gentle/soft Doms and even submissives who don’t aren’t masochists. Gasp. I know, right? For myself and my sub, I’m gonna lovingly and diligently beat that ass, mark her flesh and physically remind her who she belongs to. She is Mine.

Commanding her crawl to you; having her remove her panties in a public restroom and walk with them in hand back to the restaurant table; having her kneel before you as you lecture her on the value of her submission and why it’s important to follow the rules; all of these are excellent ways to express your Dominance and subtly humiliate your sub without going over the top in humiliating her. Not all subs respond to humiliation or like it. For me, it took a long time to acknowledge I liked the humiliation side of BDSM. I struggled with it. A man shouldn’t want to humiliate the woman he loves. Oh yeah? Well what if she craves it as much as you crave sadism? You learn to like humiliation. I am not so much into the heavier sides of humiliation and degradation. As a Daddy Dom, my role is to build up, not tear down.

I do embrace pain and humiliation as part of my Dominance. As always, it’s sculpted to the needs of my sub. Humiliation for me, is a game I like to play in private to semi-public. Something that’s just shared between the two of us. Anymore than that conflicts greatly with my Daddy Dom core values as I previously mention. I’m a nurturer and caregiver. But the pain? Mmmmm. The delicious, ravenous need to inflict my mark on her tender flesh? The emotions involved with inflicting my mark is so beyond euphoric I have difficulty describing it. It’s like the rush from mastering some new skill and the excitement of watching her strip for my pleasure all rolled up into one exciting high. It is blissful in every since of the word.

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