Perceptions from a Daddy Dom
Perceptions from a Daddy Dom are essays, instruction pieces, and sometimes rants. I write and even text, like I talk in real life and I’m here today speaking from the heart. I offer my opinions and insight that I have gained from fifteen years of experience and through trial and error. When I offer insight, it is from the mindset of my Dominant philosophy, which is primarily that of Daddy Dom. I use the pronouns I am comfortable with, but please swap your pronouns where you feel comfortable. The lifestyle welcomes all of you. Welcome to Wonderland.
For the masochist, sadism is a love language. Through giving and receiving pain, we will speak love. You meet her very real need for corporal punishment and play through expressing your sadism.
In expressing my sadism, I first need to know my masochist. I will explore every inch of her mind and her body before I ever let her meet my sadist. I will understand what she needs, why she needs it and gain understanding of her wants and desires. I will know her limits and respect them and be ever mindful of her safeword. I will explore her tender flesh. Every freckle, mole, beauty mark, scar and/or blemish will be committed to memory. I will trail my fingertips across her skin and kiss every delicious part of her. I will devour her deliberately and thoroughly, mind and body.
I will speak love to her by planning the scene carefully and thoughtfully. I will pour over books, blogs and articles learning the how to’s, the risks and then practice my skills. I will be exact and methodical in methods. I will master the skill set and be proficient in it’s craft. I will prepare myself mentally for the scene ahead and ensure that I am present and in clear mind.
I need to express my sadism just as much as she needs to express her masochism. We will speak love, not with words during these scenes, but with thuddy smack and stinging lash. Her flesh will glow and bruise and my mark will speak to both of us, validating both of our very real and primal needs.
In expressing my sadism, I validate her wants and needs. Through barehand, flog, cane, hair brush or whatever other wonderful toy my deviant mind selects, I will mark her as Mine. She will feel my love through brutal affection. I will tend to her and be mindful of her responses as she transcends into subspace. I will be diligent in both care and affection in aftercare. I will reaffirm she was good, did good and she is perfect in every way, is loved and is totally and completely owned by Daddy.
It is important to focus on aftercare as much as planning the scene. Before play begins, I will have medical supplies, gatorade and water, snacks, stuffies and blankies all at the ready so if she drops, she will not have the additional panic or anxiety of wondering where I’ve gone or what’s taking so long. As I tended to her in the scene, I will tend to her in aftercare. I will be diligent, attentive and loving.
In speaking love back to sadism as the masochist, make sure you are tending to your sadist, especially if he drops. Dom Drop can be crippling. They can doubt the very core of their existence as the emotions fade, or in the case of new sadists, they see the welts and bruises they’ve inflicted. Remind them that you need their sadism. Remind them that you consented and you feel loved through their attention and that you needed this too. Reaffirm them and their actions.