Introducing D/s to Your Vanilla Relationship

Everyone is at a different point in life. Some people are married and happily kinky. Others are happily kinky but still single. And some find themselves thinking about kink while worrying about how to tell their vanilla partner. At some point, we can all find ourselves in a similar situation.

If you’ve already gone through this, use this as a way to think about how you told your partner and what worked (or didn’t) for you. If you’re still trying to work up the courage, use today’s discussion topic as a starting point. You don’t have to have the conversation today but maybe you can write some conversation starters or points you want to make when you do.

I cannot remember a time that I have ever not been vocal about my needs. I have, however, been quiet about them. After all, one can talk only so much to a wall before growing tired. I have resolved never to do that again. I refuse to not have my needs met. I can’t do it anymore. I am tired of feeling like a glass half full. I refuse to live silenced again.

I knew I was in for it when I discovered The Story of O at the age of 16. At 18, I experimented lightly with a girl and a riding crop, but I really didn’t get to explore kink until my mid 20s. Since that glorious adventure, there has not been a single relationship in which I have not at least introduced kink into the relationship, even in dating. I feel incomplete with, unsatisfied with and all together uninterested in anything solely vanilla. A few months ago I was asked if I would ever consider anything solely vanilla and I told them no. I legitimately can’t. My need and desire for D/s is so strong that I don’t want to live without it. As I’ve said before, how can you go from living in 4k Ultra High Def and all the amazing colors back to black and white? It’s entirely unappealing and lackluster.

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