What Kind of Rules Do You Want?

A Dominant may set the rules, but a submissive has to agree to them. Submissives may have an idea in their head what they need, but their Dominant might see another way of accomplishing the same goal. Rules are a part of the vast majority of D/s relationships from small to big.

Some rules determine behavior in public, others are about private behavior. Some rules may be more common but there’s no right or wrong here. Do you know what kind of rules you may want or need in your relationship?

Even as a Dominant, I crave structure. I need the familiarity and the outlines of how we will act together, towards each other and even having our roles outlined. Without structure, even in my personal life, I begin to flounder.

When my lil cub and I started vetting, we were in a rather unique position because I write so much in the way of essays and and we both write a ton of advice. It was easy for us to cross reference what we were saying and what had been said in the past. In our vetting, I took notes on everything. Everything. From her favorite colors, to her hobbies, to what she struggled with, to what she needed help with, health problems… everything. I used my notes and the template I use for creating structure and shaped it all to her, her needs and my needs. We negotiated what we both wanted and put our rules in place. Instead of overwhelming her with tasks, I rolled them out slowly and have continued to build up on what we both need. Her need for my structure and holding her accountable and my need to provide structure and authority.

2 thoughts on “What Kind of Rules Do You Want?

  1. I am impressed that you went through all the texts. I am also really happy that you’ve set your rules around Bunny’s needs. Like you mentioned, rules are not set in stone. They can change to meet the needs of your growing relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

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