Let us be clear, in D/s, pain isn’t a requirement. You don’t have to be a masochist or a sadist to be D/s. But it’s always good to have an idea of where you stand on the subject.
As a submissive, would you consent to a painful spanking as punishment? As a Dominant, do you want to inflict pain on your submissive? Does the idea of it turn you on or off?
When I saw this prompt, I have to admit, I could literally feel the deviant, wolfish smile play across my lips, I reveled at the topic at hand before even opening the email to see the full question. I licked my teeth, readjusted myself and opened the email. A whole topic on pain and sadism? How decadently delicious.
I don’t want to inflict pain on my submissive. I need it. There is a very clear distinction to be made here. From over the knee spankings to her strapped to the bed and receiving my affection through being caned, I need/want/desire/crave to inflict pain. I want the anticipation and build up from scene negotiation. I want to talk about it before we do it. I want to talk about expectations. I want to talk about what will happen. I want to talk about the tender affections in aftercare. I then, want to slowly gaze upon her willing body. I want to sip and slowly drink in the sight of her. I want to watch her shiver as a select a tool and watch her skin goosebump as I caress the leather across her skin. I want to see her reaction and smell her anticipation as I whisper into her ear what a good girl she is. I want to revel in watching her flesh recoil from impact and feel the vibration travel through my wrist and into my arm. I want to watch the glow of her skin react to my loving affection. I want to feel the warmth spread across her flesh.
The anticipation, the build up, the act, the aftercare… all of it bliss. I want to marvel at my mark on her body. I want to kiss it, caress it, touch it. I will remind her in all the ways that she is Mine, she is owned and she is loved.