When Real Life Interferes With Your D/s

Yes, we know your D/s relationship is real life. Of course it is. But the rest of life sometimes interferes with the kinky shenanigans you’d rather be having. Illness, death, finances – it all makes an impact on how much (if any) D or s is going on. Think about it for a while. Wrap your mind around the idea.

Does it surprise you that you might not maintain the same level of D/s during the stressful times? Do you think you know how you’ll handle your relationship when it does? What ideas can you consider that might help you when this happens?

Sometimes life gets in the way. It is inevitable. When that happens, it is okay to put a moratorium on the dynamic, if it is needed. I have learned, however, that it’s important to put a date on the break. To pick when you will circle back to it and resume what you both need. Maybe negotiations have to be done to adjust for whatever caused the need for a moratorium, but it’s important to come back to the dynamic. It is a core component to who you both are and it will more than likely cause resentment if abandoned for long. I know it did for me. Learn from my mistakes: Put a date on any breaks you need and make sure to come back and revaluate. Needs change all the time. It’s how you incorporate them going forward that will define your dynamic and relationship.

2 thoughts on “When Real Life Interferes With Your D/s

  1. One thing I am learning about Sir is that he does not always believe in putting a Dynamic on hold due to difficult life circumstances. He believes there should be a discussion about what is plausible during difficult times, and about more leniency on certain rules or protocols, but that in difficult times, both people should actually lean into the dynamic if possible. He believes that my rules and structure bring me comfort when I am struggling. At first, I felt resistant to this…but I am learning that for the two of us, this works very well. It takes a lot of extra communication and continued commitment to prioritize the dynamic (even if in a smaller way than before the difficult circumstances). Just another take on things. I really like what you are saying here about if you do take a break, set a date to either resume the dynamic or to at least discuss it. That way, both partners don’t go without getting their needs met for too long.

    Liked by 1 person

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