Finding Your Local Community

The folks at Loving BDSM are big champions of getting out into the local kink community. It’s not always possible for everyone, and sometimes the local community isn’t the right fit. But if you haven’t tried it yet, it’s definitely worth thinking about. You meet more people. You learn new things. And you spend time with people who understand you on a level you might not be used to. Today, think about whether you think you’ll find a munch, a club, or a party.

Have you done it in the past? What was your experience? Are you nervous or shy? Explore your feelings and consider whether the local community is a viable option for you.

It was early late 2006/early 2007 when I found the local kink community of San Francisco. I went to a munch and then the Citadel. The munch was fantastic. Normal people just talking about the things they loved in and out of the lifestyle. I was a little shy due to my being in introvert, but I was able to overcome it quickly and be social. When I went later to the Citadel, I met a different group of people that had some of the folks from the munch mingled in and they were so awful, snobby and pretentious, I had no desire to ever go back. You ever see the South Park were they’re all walking around and farting in wine glasses and then smelling their own farts? It was worse than that.

I am a selective introvert that is getting worse with my introversion the older I get. Between the pandemic, my physical limitations due to past injury, and my tolerance for other people’s bullshit, I have little interest in talking to people or investing time in to people that do not share the same interests and hobbies as I do. I’m only 38, but sometimes, I feel like a crotchety, cranky old man. Get off my fucking lawn.

I want to check out the local community where I am at now, but I will wait until Bunny and I can go together. As a gentleman and Dominant, I feel that it behooves me to not put myself in a situation in which Bunny needs to question me or my intent. I can respectfully wait to have her on my arm and make an entrance that way.

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