You might have never heard of subfrenzy and still experienced it whether as the submissive or a Dominant. It’s a moment that happens for new submissives or submissives in new relationships where they get a little intense about their submission, sometimes to the detriment of their own safety. It can be overwhelming in healthy relationships and dangerous in bad relationships. It’s good to know what it is and how to recognize it, even if you’re past the point of thinking you’ll be affected by it.
Subfrenzy can be super harmful to a submissive and even the Dominant, albeit in a different manner. With the sub, in a new relationship, they can be excited. Maybe this Dom is a type they’ve never been with before, maybe they’ve never fully submitted before and this Dom is “the one”. As a Dominant, it is the Dom’s job to watch for the over eagerness than can lead the sub into trying things they’re either not ready for or aren’t fully aware of. Yes, the submissive should be doing research to, but the Dominant is leader. The root of the responsibility begins there, in my opinion.
How do you know a submissive is in subfrenzy?
- Playing too soon with someone they just met.
- Playing too often and not taking the time to process mentally and emotionally, or even taking the time to physically heal.
- Engaging in types of play without being properly educated on the risks, or even engaging in play they really don’t want to be in, or wouldn’t normally consider
- They agree with everything.
- They don’t ask questions, negotiate or make requests of their own.
The aftermath of subfrenzy will naturally hurt the sub. She can feel used, abused and physically hurt. The Dominant, if their responsible but unaware (something that can be common with newer Doms), can feel terrible guilt. It’s okay to take things slow. Feel things out. Experiment. It’s okay to decide afterwards, or even during a scene, that it’s not for either of you. Doms can safeword out too.