Perceptions from a Daddy Dom
Perceptions from a Daddy Dom are essays, instruction pieces, and sometimes rants. I write and even text, like I talk in real life and I speak from the heart. I offer my opinions and insights that I have gained from fifteen years of experience and through trial and error. If I offer insight, it is from the mindset of my Dominant philosophy, which is primarily that of Daddy Dom. I use the pronouns I am comfortable with, but please swap your pronouns where you feel comfortable. The lifestyle welcomes all of you. Welcome to Wonderland.
This isn’t going to be pleasant. This is a rant. These words aren’t ones I want to say, but need to be said. I’m sick and tired of seeing littles cry foul. “My Daddy is neglectful.” “My Daddy is an asshole.” “I don’t know what to do, Daddy abandoned me.” “Daddy blocked me after a week.” “Daddy lied and has another little.” “Daddy keeps asking me for nudes.” “Daddy only wants me for sex.”
I’m going to ask a series of questions now. Did you vet him properly? Did you pay attention to red flags? Did you pay attention to how he talked to others before you even spoke to him? What about in your initial conversation? Did he ask for nudes quickly? Did he try and set up rules before talking about limits? I’m willing to bet the answer to at least one of those is a no in almost every single case. The problem here is three-fold. You didn’t do due diligence and didn’t vet him properly. You fell for the first guy that showed you semi-positive attention. You fell too fast and didn’t guard your heart and in so doing, ignored some red flag behavior. And unfortunately, you got hurt. I’m truly sorry for that.
You’re submissive, not a doormat. Nobody else is going to vet him for you. Nobody else is going to be paying attention to any red flag behavior in your conversations. You have to be vigilant. You have to look out for yourself. You might need to slow down. You need to protect your heart.
Some things to pay attention to and watch for: Does he avoid talking about his past? Has he ever made you question yourself? Has he ever made you feel crazy? Has he ever dismissed your feelings? Has he tried to make rules before talking to you about your needs? Does he repeatedly sexualize you? Does he have problems with accountability? Has he ever been emotionally distant? Has he tried to get you to call him Daddy before you were ready to? If he gets mad, does he redirect his anger at you? Does he want to collar you quickly?
The above list isn’t all inclusive, but does detail some very common red flag behavior for Dominants. Please take time to research red flags. At the bottom of this editorial is going to be a link to one of the best red flag articles I’ve ever found. Please take time to read it and familiarize yourself with a good screening process.
Now what happens if you have vetted him well and all of a sudden he is neglectful, cruel and/or emotionally abusive? From my experience, there’s something going on in his personal life and he’s not willing to open up about it or he’s struggling with how to come to terms with it. If he starts this behavior and when addressed does nothing to change it, it’s most likely been ingrained into his personality and he will do nothing to change it and no matter how patient or kind you are will change it either. You can’t fix someone that’s broken. They have to do it themselves.
Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust Your Instincts: http://www.the-iron-gate.com/essays/85